Monday, April 30, 2007

Going To The Movies, Gonna Eat Me A Lot Of Popcorn

On this weeks episode of People Who Suck, we will discuss those who do their sucking at the movies. I went out to see a movie(The Invisible) over the weekend as I am want to do. I don't have much to say about the film, it was somewhat interesting, the concept was nice, but I hated some of the characters and there was some lameness throughout. Also I thought it was odd that there was a "scene" in all the commercials for the movie that both I and my girlfriend are 99% sure was not in the movie.

Back to the suck. A lot of this boils down to talking during the film. Now I'm not a total dick, I know you want to do more than just sit there with a blank stare gazing up at the movie screen for two hours. Some minor interaction with your friends, compatriots, lovers is perfectly acceptable. But there are limits, I'm sure I crossed a bunch of them when I was in high school and going out to see films with my friends and causing a ruckus. I regret my rambunctiousness to a degree and while it might aggravate me when it happens, I feel a bit hypocritical when I do.

People who have to explain things in the movie suck. I don't know if they are telling their friend because they think he/she is too dumb to figure it out. Maybe they just cant process their thought without their mouths moving and they just naturally force the air out to speak it. It always happens during the simplest most easy to understand scenes too, where the director is just forcing the explanation down your throat to the point where no one over the age of 7.166666 repeating should have trouble understanding it. Just shut up!

Idiots suck all the time, but at the movie theater they suck even more. They also seem to congregate and are possibly contagious. In this movie, one of the characters was wearing a t-shirt that said "Gluten Free" 3 women sitting near me kept tittering about his Glutton Free t-shirt. Another time, I was seeing the movie High Fidelity and I swear whenever a scene came on and both Joan and John Cusack were in the same room, people would break out with whispers of "It's his sister!!!"

Other people who are at the movies full of suckishness is those who horribly violently react to jump scenes. I understand it was totally intended to shock you so jolt a little, shake and tremble, take a quick inhalation of breath or scream slightly if you must. But when you jump 2 feet out of you chair with such speed and voracity that I sitting next to you get more freaked out by you than the movie then I have a problem with you.

In short try not to suck at the movies. Sit back and enjoy the movie, talk to your friends quietly and try and be funny like the guys from MST3K before Joel left. Either that or just make out with your significant other, I can watch that too.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Smithsonian National Zoological Park

One of the best things about the D.C. Zoo is that it's free. You can just stroll through the gates at any time after opening. It has quite reasonable hours even on the weekends, and you can wander around the park for quite some time even after the buildings close. It's also quite simple to get to as long as you aren't the sort of person who gets Metrosick or claustrophobic. There are two stops within 3 blocks of the entrance one of them also being right by the Uptown Theater (Closest thing to IMAX you can get real movies on here)

So its convenient, and if you don't get to see everything in your trip to the zoo, it will only cost you about 5 bucks metro fare to come back. Also the beverage stands throughout the park aren't as ridiculously overpriced as one might think. A nice panda souvenir cup of soda was only $3.25, tho I found it odd I got my 75 cents change back in nickels. They also don't give you straws because it could be some sort of safety hazard for the animals. Of course you can also just bring your own food and drinks in with you.

I spent an afternoon there over the weekend with Becky, and we managed to check out lots but not all of the park. A helpful note, make sure to wear comfortable walking shoes, because you'll be doing a lot of it. As with any public park/zoo there are a lot of other people around some being children. I can usually ignore them, but I think that if your kid needs a stroller they shouldn't be allowed in the zoo to scream in my ear every time they see an animal. I also had another interesting experience with a kid at the zoo, no... not like that.

I was trying to take a picture of some animal in an outdoor exhibit on the Asia trail. All of the sudden I feel this pull against my shirt on the left side, and I knew for a fact it wasn't Becky since she was off too my right. I just ignore it because I'm trying to take my picture still and figure someone just brushed up against me. But then again I feel a tug and this time more insistent and repeatedly. So I turn and look down at my shirt and their is this little Asian girl tugging on the corner. She's not even looking at me, she's looking off at something and trying to pull me towards it. So I kind of just stare at her and say something witty along the lines of "Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm excuse me??" Then she finally looks up at me, realizes I'm not her daddy, and runs off. Kids these days.

Speaking of pictures(well I kind of was), I've got a new set of animals to look at. Check em out by clicking The Bear! The Bear! All covered in hair!

Sunday, April 22, 2007

The Sweet Scent of Cloves

I know a lot of people don't smoke. Plenty of people just plain hate the stuff and people who do it. I don't smoke cigarettes very often, perhaps like a pack or two a month. I also except for occasions most rare do not smoke regular cigarettes. I smoke cloves. I don't know exactly why I like them, it could be the nice pleasant scent, or the way the flavor sticks on your lips for awhile afterward, reminding you of your pleasing recent inhalation. I pretty much only buy Djarum Blacks, I like them better than other cloves I've had and of course the fact they are black is a good selling point. They also tend to last a bit longer than regular cigarettes, I often can smoke a half and put it out to save for later. I have to get them at specialty stores which is slightly annoying but they are worth it.

The other interesting thing about cloves is people seem to crave them. You can go out to a bar, and light yourself up a clove, and 9 times out of 10 someone will pop over and go "Ohhh Emmm Geee are those cloves? I love cloves!" I have had people beg, barter or buy cloves from me, from places like Bars, Ruby Tuesdays, Denny's, in the middle of the street. Fortunately no one has gone to the effort of stealing them from me. One time at a bowling alley a guy offered me 5 bucks for what was left of a pack, something like 4 cigs. I had new pack with me, and since the things run for something like $7, it was a perfectly sound investment. I think if you played your cards right you could make a fortune selling clove cigarettes to desperate drunk people.

As we all know, smoking makes you look cool. Smoking cloves makes you look like the hippest cat on the planet.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Non Home Theater Experience

Went out last night and saw Disturbia. General plot point is kid gets house arrest and spends his summer people watching in his neighborhood and ends up suspecting someone of some serious evil shenanigans. Overall I did enjoy the movie, I found it a worthwhile endeavor. I didn't get shocked at any of the jump moments but then I don't usually tend to. Whether thats because of my usual IDGAF attitude or mind altering substances I don't know.

There was a pretty cool/scary car wreck near the beginning. I don't recommend driving a SUV over a car, flipping several times, landing on the roof of your car, and then getting slammed into by another car. It did not look fun, the protagonist survived but his Dad did not. At first I thought this was going to be why the kid was forced to stay at home which seemed odd, but no. His spanish teacher said something about his dad on the last day of school and he decked him. So let that be a lesson to you kids out there, don't punch your teachers if you want to be able to enjoy your summer vacation.

Now to my list of things that made me moderately annoyed or made me think duhhh stupid movie making people. For one thing they made it a point to show that the kid wasn't allowed to have fun while he was imprisoned in his house. His mom canceled his "xbox" and "itunes" so that he couldn't use them. Well she canceled his xbox live account, so sure he couldn't play with people but thats what single player games are for. Same with itunes, its not like he didn't already have music to play. It's so sad he cant download new stuff. I know I know "it's a mooooovie," but whatever I think about these things.

Also the female lead, who most assuredly was hot, was forced into some sort of effortless prototypical male fantasy. Athletic lean hot chick, who sunbathes and swims in skimpy little outfits. Who doesn't seem to mind a voyeur and maybe even enjoys it a little, likes homemade video. A girl who makes the first move, goes in for the first kiss, apparently enjoys playing video games. She even ordered pizza and drinks beer. She also seems to have the hots for a guy who is a "criminal" but also kind of a dork, so its good for everyone! It just seemed a little bit unbelievable to me. Not that I mind a hot female actress in a movie, but I like them to seem somewhat real.

There were some okay previews. I am assuredly going to go see The Invisible or whatever. 28 Weeks Later looks kinda cool but I can probably wait for video. I didn't even realize that they made another Resident Evil movie, I don't know what I'll do about that one.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

A Taste So Foul

To the best of my knowledge, discounting any possible early encounters at an age so young, my first experience with Iced Tea was in college. No one in my family really drinks the stuff, though I don't believe they share my particular revulsion. So one day freshman year I reached into the fridge to grab a pitcher. A pitcher I believed to be filled with the Kool-Aid I had made the day before. So I poured a quick glass and raised the cool beverage to my lips and took a swig. That proved a costly error. Instantly I gagged and spit the filth from my mouth. I loudly expressed my horror, confusion and shock with a colorful string of less than clean language. One of my roommates came to at least help with the confusion, explaining they had finished off my tasty fruity sugary beverage and refilled the pitched with "nice cool refreshing Iced Tea". Armed with that knowledge and my initial reaction I swore off the stuff.

So at a restaurant the other night, my girlfriend orders herself some unsweetened Iced Tea, squeezes the lemon into it and adds some Equal. I had informed her once before that I did not drink Iced Tea and my virgin Iced Tea encounter. She found it odd because she didn't know anyone who only had Tea once and hated it. She contended that maybe it was just crappy store bought lame Iced Tea, where as what she had in her glass was spectacularly yummy. I foolishly slowly let myself be convinced to take a sip, even arguing with myself that perhaps my distaste originally had been so prominent due to expecting the Kool-Aid. So I reached for her glass and wrapped my lips around the straw. I sucked. A horrible horrible taste entered my mouth. I cringed and started looking around for somewhere to spit it out without making a scene. I found nothing and was forced to swallow. I gagged and nearly heaved twice. I got tears in my eyes and an unforgivable nauseous aftertaste in my mouth that lasted for several minutes, nearly ruining my appetite.

Conclusion: I hate Iced Tea. In my humble opinion it's the worst beverage ever. I hate it even more than Beer, and I cannot stand beer at all. I think I've gotten bong water in my mouth that didn't taste as bad as Iced Tea. I can say without a shadow of a doubt, that I shall never drink said product again, and I would expect it also highly unlikely that I ever dare attempt to try tea of a non iced variety.

In Old Colts Country

So I took a trip to Baltimore this week. The primary goal of which was to take my girlfriend to see Lacuna Coil play at Rams Head Live. She's a really big fan and was uber excited when I surprised her awhile back with tickets for the show. Unfortunately it was part of a tour and they only got to play for a half hour or so. The venue was reasonable enough, tho security people were a pain and some areas had very bad viewing angles. But they did at least have a bunch of nice flatscreens around the place so you could watch those when around and about. Also the foodstand place gives refills which I didn't know at first. The lady doing the serving recognized me and gave me shit about ditching my cup. I told her I just assumed there would be price rape-age, but she was nice and gave me another Dr. Pepper free of charge.

We also fit some other things into our day and a half stay in the Inner Harbor area. We stayed at a really nice hotel, the Hampton Inn. It's a Hilton hotel so it was a bit pricey but everything in Baltimore seems to be anyway. The room was great, nice and roomy, bed extremely comfortable and good for the hot secks. The hotel staff was quite helpful and the valet man was kind enough to grab us something from the car that we forgot. We got to check out the indoor pool which was okay, except for the little kids doing cannonballs every 30 seconds and the fact that even in the deep end I could stand without my head submerging.

Places in Baltimore seem to close kind of early, so we were lucky enough to make it to the Hard Rock Cafe in Baltimore before they closed at 11. We both had delicious salads and a nice herb chicken dish. Also sample some of the alcoholic beverages and walked away with nice Martini and Hurricane glasses. Our other primary food experience was at some place called like J. Paul's. But it was pretty good, Becky had a seafood platter and I was able to chow down on a simple yummy burger and fries. Also the cool thing about this place was they give you free warm pretzels with mustard as appetizers. We checked out some shops and went out for a half hour or so on a dragon shaped paddleboat.

The other main event of the day was a trip to the aquarium. I had been hoping since we were going on a Tuesday that it wouldn't be so crowded, but it most assuredly was. There were parents and their little brats everywhere. So it was really slow going in some points, at least if you actually wanted to see something, and even more so if you wanted to take some pictures like I did. But we scoped out basically all of the place. We didn't end up making it to the dolphin show, but neither of us really cared. The general aquarium parts were all fun and I got some nice shots, but I think both of us enjoyed the Rain Forest and Australian exhibits most. They really give you a cooler feel of being in the animals environments and you have birds flying around and some open exhibits. Check out my pictures from our trip.

There were some problems on the trip, primarily crappy traffic, crappy Baltimore streets, Crappy Parking Garages and way too much walking, but I still had a really good time and I think Becky did too. There was also the side benefit of me having taken two days off work, so I had that going for me, which was nice.

Friday, April 6, 2007

I Know What is What, but I Don't Know What is What

Well it's Friday, which is quite nice of course, but I am still stuck here for a bunch more hours. After that though it's an action packed long weekend. I've discussed most of my plans already so I wont reiterate. I had thought to take the girlfriend into D.C. on Sunday to see the Cherry Blossoms, but as I understand it they've all been murdered by freezing weather. Also it's supposed to be cold again and apparently Sunday is Easter which could make things tricky.

I doubt I've mentioned it before but I'm not a very devout person. I used to go to church when my parents made me, and I went through confirmation with our Methodist Church at the time. I don't remember much about that process except they made us visit other churches to see how other religions worshiped. There was one we went to where the congregation had to stand up or kneel practically the whole time. I was glad my parents were simple Methodists to be sure. I stayed quasi "churchy" for awhile, played in the church's handbell choir. That at least made me show up to a church service once a month, though I often sat back behind the organ and only came out when it was time to play. Then college rolled around I pretty much gave up on organized religion entirely.

It's not that I don't believe in God, tho I might not. I think he might exist, and it would be somewhat comforting to know that he did. Or at least know if there is a happy happy fun fun afterlife to look forward to. But I've never really been gripped with an intense enough belief in God to be the faithful religious follower. So I don't go to Church anymore. Sometimes I might go for Christmas Eve or something, but I don't think I have the past two years, and I definitely don't tithe. So I don't much plan on showing up for Easter service, and my petty self will probably get annoyed for stuff closing early or people being out at restaurants I want to eat at just for the hell of it.

I know Becky would love it if I made her an Easter Basket, but I'm not sure I have the time or initiative. I do however need to get myself a couple more Cadbury Eggs before this years Easter Bunny dies.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

I've Seen Teams Suck Before........

I remember playing baseball back in the day. Little league was mostly good times I guess. I was usually stuck in the outfield and that coupled with my attention deficit disorder led to some embarrassing blunders. But batting was fun, and I always wished I could pitch because throwing stuff really hard is tremendously enjoyable. I had reasonable velocity I suppose, but with control worse than Rick Vaughn, and I was already wearing glasses!

So I do remember the actual sport of baseball as a good times and as such I try to attend a game or two a year. JaxJaggyWires is a Marlins fan, and since they were playing in DC vs the Nats for the season opener he wanted to go. I said "Sho y not?" and we headed off on Monday to RFK Stadium. Tickets for this game were not exactly plentiful and we ended up getting stuck in the upper deck outfield (We plan to go again next month I think and we got seats in the lower level behind the plate somewhere.) This greatly hampered my photography ambitions, as I was forced to use the 10x optical zoom to even attempt to capture something worth a damn. Also my hands (as well as the knee I used to set the camera on) are not as steady as I would like. Still I managed to get some nice shots in. I've upgraded my flickr account so people can see the pics in full or at least my determined resolutions. Click the pic to check them out.

Regarding the title, if you weren't aware: The Nationals Suck. Big time. Now to be fair, I believe this was expected. I don't know who all they lost, but I do know they lost the most important thing. Any talent whatsoever. I don't believe they have any pitching, and they cant hit worth shit either. Basically the Marlins destroyed them 9-2. The Nats just gave up run after run, and I think even walked someone in. It was very pathetic. So I wasn't really expecting much out of them and that's basically what I got. I'm not that bothered by it, at least we got to see some dingers and JJW went home happy for once. He got even happier later in the evening when the Gators won their second straight NCAA tourney title. University of Florida Gators RULE!!!

Also just to post the first Werd Of Jander Video, here's a clip of people doing the Wave, and JaxJaggyWires cheering for the Marlins.